Tackling Brave Conversations in the Upper School

Living Our Mission in the Upper School

By Kate Collins, Upper School Division Head

At Carroll, DEI is all about “GECing” our students, and meeting them where they are. However, in the 8^th and 9^th Grade, they are still trying to understand who they are, let alone everyone else.

It’s easy for our students to forget about being open-minded, and to forget to consider who other people are, and how to engage with them. Our work in diversity has to be centered on us knowing our kids… and then “Carrollizing” how we deliver the critical work we’re doing around identity.

On one hand, we have some “social justice warriors,” while others are at very different places in their self-exploration—yet each group is exactly where they are supposed to be. That’s what I love about the DEI work at Carroll; there is no, “you need to be here on this day… or the bus is leaving without you.”

Recently in Foundations for Brave Conversations, we were talking about stereotypes and bias, unpacking the language and morphology of the words—again, “Carrollizing” how we approach this challenging topic. We discussed the biological nature of stereotypes, and how they exist in all of us as a way to make sense of the world. In our discussions, we’re not saying “don’t do it”—but rather that it’s important to be aware of your bias, and the stereotypes you embrace.

We’re reading and discussing scenario stories with our students so they can understand how stereotypes look in today’s society. In a real and authentic way, we’re also trying to teach perspective-taking… but not explicitly. We want our students to imagine being someone else, how they’re feeling, and what they would do in situations.

At one point, a student bravely shared that they often did what the person in the scenario was doing to stereotype another person. I thanked them for being comfortable enough to recognize that, and vulnerable enough to share their experience as a part of our close community.

With DEI work, you have to be willing to make mistakes, and we have a culture at Carroll that is open to mistakes; it’s how we build trust and safety. The idea that “you’re not perfect and you don’t have to be,” extends from our academic approach into the work we do to build our community—and that’s what helps our students to become their best selves, even when mistakes are a part of the equation.

We asked Upper 9 students to describe Foundations for Brave Conversations (FBC). Here’s what they told us:

Alexander Choi: FBC is a time to sit down and talk about really different topics that are all very relevant today. Some people might call them uncomfortable topics. But because you’re in a group and not alone in your uncomfortableness, it makes it much easier to engage.

Peyton Brown: I think they're a little uncomfortable just because a lot of people try to avoid them. But by talking about it more, everyone's in the same boat—they're learning just as much as you are. So it gets less uncomfortable the more you're talking about it and the more open you are with it.

Falone Gustafson: When we first started FBC, it was a little bit uncomfortable because of the subjects that we were talking about. It was hard. But if you need time out, the teachers always let you step outside, take some deep breaths, come back in, do whatever you need to do to help yourself to be okay, because we have to talk about these things.

Alexander Choi: The American Dream Game is not information I've never heard before, but looking through the lens of the person you’re playing, definitely adds a level of understanding. There is an emotional level to it that maybe is missing if you just have regular conversation about it.

This article is part of a series from Carroll Connection 22-23: Living our mission every day as an inclusive community of learners