Facilitating Social-Emotional Learning at the Upper School

Living Our Mission in the Upper School

An Interview with Teresa Lacks, Upper School Counselor

How would you describe your role as a counselor to someone who doesn’t know Carroll’s culture well?

Teresa: Typically, students have a less-than-positive association with counselors, where they only meet them in a disciplinary way. At Carroll, the role is very different. There are four key responsibilities as a Carroll counselor: consultation with teachers; meeting with students one-on-one or in small groups; observing students in the classroom; and designing community activities related to social-emotional learning.

How do you get to know your students?

Teresa: I check-in with each student regularly in order to build rapport and connectivity. Whether I’m working with them closely or I see them occasionally, it’s important for me to know each student so I can support them in the way that fits them best.

I typically touch on these three areas when I check in:

1. Social: Are you developing friendships with others? Do you feel healthy? Do you need advice?
2. Personal Mood: How have you been feeling the past two weeks? Have you been able to ward off anxious thoughts? Are you able to manage your stress?
3. Academics: If you’re feeling stressed, is it because you have too much work? Are there adjustments that we can make to learning at school, or at home?

If I hear from a few students who are facing the same challenges, I may pull together a small group to work on skills to meet that challenge. In those groups, we work on listening and reacting to what others say—which is core to social-emotional skills.

What does social-emotional learning look like at the Upper School?

Teresa: Our teachers and leaders incorporate social-emotional learning into the classroom in many ways.

In my role, I try to build on the identity work we’re doing in our Foundations for Brave Conversations class. I talk to students about how we all identify as human and that one thing humans all have are emotions and feelings.

A frequent reminder I share with my students is that we all feel anxious sometimes—something that’s too easy to forget. They might be anxious about presenting in class or worried that everyone will think they are stupid—yet when I ask that student what they would think about a fellow classmate presenting, they will say they see them as “strong” and “proud.”

The realization that we all have these thought cycles and feelings—that builds connections between our students.

We also do “Community Time” events, which are dedicated to social-emotional learning as a school community. I try to take feedback from teachers about what is happening in the classrooms, and then I create activities to respond. Recently, Kate Collins led a “Man Box” group that explored masculinity—defining the traits that are traditionally considered masculine, and exploring the wider range of traits of the male students in the group.

I also worked with a 9^th Grade group of female students to explore social navigation and conflict in friendships. Another group explored humor and sarcasm, and when those go too far and negatively affect other people.

Tell me about the new Affinity Groups at the Upper School.

Teresa: We introduced three Affinity Groups in the second half of the year: one for individuals who identify on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, one for students of color, and one for white allies. We did a lot of previewing of the three groups in FBC. We defined affinity groups as a safe space for people who identify with a certain trait that may have been marginalized or, in terms of the white allies group, a safe space for people who want to discuss their white privilege and how to better support people of color.

If we can give our students safe, healthy opportunities to talk about where they’re at, they’ll be more open to learning where other students are at.

“Just the presence of the affinity groups, even if the students are not attending yet, matters. I know beyond a doubt, having been an LGBT teenager myself who never would have gone to an affinity group meeting, that creating the message that kids belong here and we’re here to support them… it matters.”

Kate Collins, Upper School Division Head

This article is part of a series from Carroll Connection 22-23: Living our mission every day as an inclusive community of learners